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Yank My Tank
Yank My Tank is the fifty-third prank call in the Crotchety Old Man Calls series. Transcript (ringback tone) Woman: 'It's a great evening at (censored) Dodge, how may I answer your call? '''Milton: '''No, it's not a great evening! Oh, thank God you've answered! Let me speak to the floating turd that sold me this Dodge Stratus! '''Woman: '''Who was it? '''Milton: '''Who's working there right now?! Woman: Who do you want to speak to? '''Milton: '''Name the sales-guys and I'll tell ya which one sold it to me! ''(Milton put on hold) '''Hold Message: ''Financing the vehicle of your choice doesn't have to be a tough experience! Stop in to see the financing-'' Man: '(censored) Dodge, how may I help you? '''Milton: '''Yes! Pick me up now and bring me a new car! I bought a Dodge Stratus and now I'm stuck! Listen to this! ''(Milton tries to start up his car, but the engine stalls) 'Milton: '''Won't turn over! ''(Milton continues to start car, but engine still stalls) '''Milton: '''Nothing's happening! Who is this? '''Man: '''This is (censored). Who is this? '''Milton: '''This is Milton! You sold me this car and I want a new one right now! I'm stuck! '''Man: '''And where are you located, Milton? '''Milton: '''I'm behind a Burger King right now! I hate to dole out threats, but I don't wanna be your worst nightmare! With gas at close to $3.00 a gallon, I sought out an alternative as any level-headed consumer would do! I saw on the news on ''Dateline NBC '''that Stone Phillips said that you could put old french fry oil inside the car and it would work! Are you aware- '''Man: '''Oh, you shouldn't listen to Stone Phillips... '''Milton: '''Are you aware of that? '''Man: '''Stone Phillips doesn't know what he's talking about... '''Milton: '''So, I poured- '''Man: '''If Stone's telling you to put french fry oil in your car, maybe that's why it won't start up. '''Milton: '''Well, I poured in the contents of my Fry Daddy, and that wasn't enough! So, I went to various fast food restaurants around the tri-state area, and they have those oil traps behind the fast food restaurants- I'm behind a BK right now, I topped off the car, and now listen! ''(Milton tries to start up the car, but the engine continues to stall) 'Milton: '''Nothing! '''Man: '''Yeah, but I think the episode you saw on ''Dateline ''was to use the oil to rub on your skin for good sun tans. '''Milton: '''I'm an elderly man! And you're making fun of my situation! I'm stuck! I'm in a terrible- '''Man: '''No, I'm making fun cause you sound like you're an idiot! ''(man hangs up) 'Milton: '''Hello?! ''(ringback tone) 'Woman: '''It's a great day at (censored) Dodge, how may I answer your call? '''Milton: '''No, it's not a great day! Let me speak to the guy that just hung up on me! I'm stuck! '''Man: '''Hello? '''Milton: '''Did you hang up on me?! '''Man: '''Who's this? '''Milton: '''My name is Milton! '''Man: '''Okay, Milton! Listen, but you-who told you to put cooking oil in the car? '''Milton: '''Listen to me! You check the records! I'm in the files, I bought this car about three months ago from you, and now you're treating me like ass! '''Man: '''Yeah, but you told me you put cooking oil in the car. You're not supposed to put cooking oil in the car! '''Milton: '''That's what Stone Phillips on ''Dateline NB-'' '''Man: '''But Stone Phillips didn't sell you the car! '''Milton: '''I'm gonna kick you in the balls is what I'm gonna do! '''Man: '''Yeah! I haven't got kicked in the balls from an 82-year-old guy in about seven years. ''(man hangs up) (ringback tone) 'Woman: '''It's a great evening at (censored) Dodge, how may I answer your call? '''Milton: '''No, it's not! It's a living Hell at (censored) Dodge! Put (censored) on the phone right now! '''Man: '''Who would put-who would put cooking oil in his car gotta be a half an idiot. Find something else to do, jerkoff! ''(man hangs up) (ringback tone) Trivia *The Dodge Stratus is a mid-size car produced by the Chrysler Corporation. Judging by the year this call may have been released in, it may have been the Chrysler Cirrus variant, a four-door sedan produced from 1995 to 2000. *Burger King is an American based fast food chain. *Stone Phillips is an American news reporter who used to co-anchor the newsmagazine show Dateline NBC. *Using cooking oil in a car is a reference to biodiesel vehicles, which have engines that run off of vegetable oil (biodiesel) rather than gasoline. Category:Prank calls